I AM... GOLDEN EAGLE!

LOLipop.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/457770

Just watch..

-TIFFANYPACK- (Help Me, I'm Growing!)

That Tif, she always has to have the last laugh.

I received a thrilling counter to my Rybox that I sent her while in Oregon. It was made with bits and pieces of the former package with Tif's scrawling all over the inside. In it included Oregon-imported foods (Fig bars, vitamins, and lime-flavored mints) which I immediately consumed, pictures from her travels, loads of inside-jokes, and [my favorite] a London-esque magnet.

She's such a surprisehost. Thanks, Tif!



If everything grew at the same rate, [including distances and temperature ranges] then nobody would be able to feel or detect it. What if right now, as I type this, everything in the universe [and the universe itself] were getting bigger, further away? What if it were constant, even atoms and the smallest particles grew as well? How would we know? Would we ever be able to figure it out? After all, with everything growing now, we have no referance to compare sizes. We could very possibly live in a world where growth is as infinite and constant, and the only growth that we can recognize were changes in growth acceleration?

Short people, rejoice. I just found a cure.

"Hey, At Least It Isn't Raining Gorilla Balls."

Back to School. Hurrah.
I'm not going to post my schedule, because everybody else does it. Actually, I'm just lazy.

I saw Tif, who gave me a postcard and a map to some art gallery. If delightful surprises were like parasties, she'd be the biological host.


wHY DO KEYBOARDS PUT THEIR CAPS LOCKS SO CLOSE TO THEIR SHIFTS? iT KINDOF GETS TO ME.



B0L0GNABUT T (9:21:03 PM): ""That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

[Surely he didn't have in mind drugs, french frys, or anti-male enhancement?]




Okay, its been a while since I've ranted.
You get dumped, you didn't make that football team, your dad yells at you for not doing something right and you think to yourself, "Man, my life sucks gorilla balls."
People tend to measure their circumstance based on the quantity of misfortunes of their day. What they fail to realize is ratio of things that could go wrong versus the things that do. It turns out that no matter what happens, you life could suck alot worse. It happens all the time.
For example, I didn't get into the same P.E. class as the one that my other friends were in. I thought it sucked. Gorrila balls, in fact. So I marked it onto the "Things that went bad today" mental list. If I were to get into Corona's class, I wouldn't have marked it on the "Things that went great today" list. I'd take it totally for granted, as a life factor that worked to my advantage.
People do that because too many kickass or average things happen every day to keep track of them. Misfortunes, however, are fewer and easier to count.

Next time something happens, anticipate all the pessimistic things that could happen.
You'll learn to appreciate everything that doesn't involve Gorilla Balls.


Nice shirt!
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp;jsessionid=A4423A28C632C266177D573A78FF4F32.app11-node2?itemdescription=true&itemCount=10&id=15279953&parentid=M_APP_TEESSHORT&sortProperties=+product.marketingPriority,-product.startDate&navCount=234&navAction=poppushpush&color=

A Tiny Little Update

http://www.cookiedoughrecords.com/movieplay.htm

Did you see the Olymic Closing Lightcycles? I want one of those!
Flashy.

TMSAC. G, IHMondays.

I'm going to have to start worrying.

Other blogs about PB&J sandwiches and hairballs don't have to break a sweat. See, because other people blog about their days, they always have a topic to blog about.
As for myself, I'm limited to a certain amount of witty queries thanks to my small attention capacity. God, I hate Mondays.

What can I do when that day comes, when everything I can think of is in this blog?
Should I start blogging about my day, like the rest of the people that control blogs?
No, I have a policy.
Am I going to be forced to stop blogging altogether? Surely not.

In reality, Mind Bottling will die before I lose my blogging ideas. Just like the Ghettobook before it. Like the Ghettobook, I was stoked when I started it.

Even now, I can see myself tending to blogger less every week. I get bored thanks to my small attention capacity. God, I hate Mondays.

Ah, we'll see what happens.
As you might have noticed I'm home! It's the freshest smog-infested atmosphere I've ever tasted on my tongue, and I love it.


CuppiT3A Cakes (10:26:55 PM): AHH. ryan reminds me of SOYMILK


solarpoweredspaz (11:18:40 PM): You sounds lonely, Cat.
solarpoweredspaz (11:18:47 PM): Lonely and sad and pathetic.
studm00ffin (11:18:49 PM): I am acutally.
studm00ffin (11:18:52 PM): pretty much
studm00ffin (11:18:55 PM): ive got to admit
studm00ffin (11:18:58 PM): i eat lunch alone

Somebody make friends with her, before I smash some faces.
But then again, you brought it upon yourself Cat.

Dear August 20th:

more the engrish!

Welcome back to California, Ryan! This is a scheduled post from the past, by your former self. What did you spend the last week of summer on, FutureRyan? You know things that nobody else does right now. Who's the 2008 Olypic gold medalist for nose-picking? Only you know. Did Tif get the package that I didn't send her yet? I hope so, I'll get to it.
Don't worry Ryan, I have your back. I'll do things now so you don't have to worry about them. Remember that dirty laundry that we were supposed to do? Consider it done.
Write back, if you can find some freakish way to do so.


-Ryan of 8/10/08

Airbound.

solarpoweredspaz (10:07:36 PM): Hey, creamcake.

Two more days, and I'll be in California. I spent my last days in the coniferous city of Durango. Every part of Durango is beautiful, perky female residents especially.
But guess again, if you think I traveled for five hours just to spot girls. I went for my driver's permit. Yeah, chances are that I'll be catering [you, the reader] around until you can get a little red motor scooter of your own. That means you too, Annie.

After my driving class with [who else but pretty girls?], I went canoeing with a guide named Brian. Brain sounds uncomfortably close to Ryan, my previous rafting guide. Tif , who also went rafting, had an instructor named Ryan as well.

So who knows? Maybe I'll look into river-guiding for a summer job.



"Mind Bottling.
I finally got Ryanbear’s package today. I went outside and it was sitting happily on the stairs getting sunned on. I cracked that thing open faster than you can say “NASTIA LIUKEN TOOK HOME THE GOLD IN THE OLYMPIC ALL AROUNDS.” Inside, there was the most Ryanified things I have ever layed my Australiasian hands on. Things like tweaked Pokemon cards, a bar of used soap, a zebra painted rock, and his Ghetto Book :O. Which Ryan, I’m going to have to give back to you. Now this package is what I’d call some major Ryanspice."
- www.neonpants.tumblr.com


Delivering five minutes of awkwardness at a time. Through the mail.

Tie Your Shoes, Cos' You're Trippin'.

Compose the lyrics to a new national anthem that features an animal sound at least once:


Oh say, wtf can you see?
A figure approaching spontaneously.
With a light pink utter, and unsteady knees
Stands the magic cow of liberty.

And although the flag was still in the air
The reason being was quite unfair.
The enemy wouldn't, couldn't touch a flag
That Lady Cow protected with a giant plastic bag.

Oh say, does that star-spangled banner still wave?
Yes, all because Lady Cow was so brave.
So next time you pass by a bolvine, behave.
It may be the grandcow of the country she saved.

Moo.


I was watching this biographical clip of this Olympic swimmer with a simplistic lifestyle. All he did was eat, sleep, and swim. I thought to myself, "Hey, that's the life of Vickie Bounkousohn."

The Messes of Life

Judges. I've been watching the Olympics and wonder who these people are. What gave these people the right to tell the best athletes in the world how badly they did that double-bacon backflip supreme?
You gave him a five, Judge Jacob? Show me a perfect double-bacon backflip supreme.

When it comes down to things, you just can't judge the best of the best. But if that were true, how would you decide who was the best? Ah, tragic.


I pulled an all-nighter with my youth group last night. It was much more fun than it sounds.
However, it knocked my sense of sleep out of whack.
You know whats whack?
My sense of sleep.
That's whack.

Anyways, its always a mess when I do things with my kids here in the CO.
Everyone gets pissed off, goes through every break up imaginable, and swap salivamates. Kind of like square dancing.

In this case, in all of these cases, I'm always caught up in the messes. In the messes of life. I learn to appreciate the less-shallow lifestyles in California, where rebound limits last longer than just two hours.


Anyways.

Paste

Horray for an urban change!

If I were supposedly in a band, maybe called Best of Basics or Advocet or whatever kids name them these days, I'd be frustrated. Relationships don't last long enough to write songs about them.

Toothpaste! They all taste like mint to me, yet they each claim to have a certain strength like "Cavity Protection" or "Super Whitening". Does your breath smell like fish? Get our "Anti-Fishbreath" paste. Allergic to paste? Get our new "Paste-Free" paste.

Nono, I think that this is a scam. See, people with cavities would be more likely to buy a tube of toothpaste with a label that specifically says "Cavity Protection" It'll make the toothpaste sound more effective at dealing with that certain situation. Specialist toothpaste.
Now say that it was actually true, that each toothpaste had a strength. Why not then, take a blender and throw all of the toothpastes in to create a final, perfect toothpaste Armageddon? The answer is..
Specialist toothpaste. Refering to previous ramble.


My grandmother loves to talk to me, but she tries too hard to relate.

G: "Have you seen the Olympics lately? It's being held in China, I think you'd like it."
R: "Uh. Thanks, Grandma."
G: "Yeah, China's changed alot in the past decade. Right Ryan?"
R: "Yeah.. do you know that they built a wall?"


solarpoweredspaz (10:56:08 PM): Its like we were meant to be friends.
B0L0GNABUT T (10:56:46 PM): it's like some solar magnetic bond drew us together from colorado and oregon and confined us to san jose
B0L0GNABUT T (10:56:51 PM): just like in transformers

Why So Seriouss?

As you might have guessed, I watched The Dark Knight.


I had an erotic dream about Tiffany last night. I'm sure you wanna hear about it.
In this dream, Tif and I planned a vacation to Canada. After arriving, we decided that making a house of snow would be much less expensive than renting a hotel. Makes sense, right? We spent hours building this igloo, and right after we finished it these elementary kids attacked us with arrows. We manage to force these kids back to India, and that's when we discovered a dead body. This dead body is frozen in the ice like those ancient barbarians that scientists discover, except that this one is a Chinese monk. In Canada.
So we sent it to the dead body scientists, and they said that it was someone important. We became filthy rich and were recognized as people of awesomeness, and we both eventually died old and happy. The end.

Oh, and naked women would appear randomly throughout the dream. I told you it was erotic.


Hey, I'm Ryan. I like the smell of gasoline. I don't like the smell of bleach. I have a toe fetish.


I was at an airport, and this employee came to help an old lady with her bags. "Hello miss, my name is Jason-"
"Okay, Charley." She replied.

I Smell Onions.

When people make promises, they are ether going to carry out what they're expected to do or not. This usually occurs in a pattern, and people can be categorized as "reliable" or not.

I'm not a reliable person, when I come up with a far-fetched idea I almost never move to carry it out.
I'm saying this because Chomper came to visit me here in Colorado. I never thought Cat was serious about it when she mentioned it, not at first. Talking is easy.
But that's what makes me different from her. I'm not reliable.

Thanks, Cat. It means everything to me.

solarpoweredspaz (11:10:17 PM): I miss you, captain! D:
mycheesestick (11:11:51 PM): D:
mycheesestick (11:11:55 PM): you know.
mycheesestick (11:12:06 PM): i know know why people fuss about
mycheesestick (11:13:09 PM): plagiarising/copying
mycheesestick (11:13:10 PM): because
mycheesestick (11:13:22 PM): if no one ever borrowed an idea from anyone elsemycheesestick (11:13:44 PM): we'd all still be living in caves banging freaking rocks together to make fire.

Smart one, Miss Annie.


CuppiT3A Cakes (11:13:08 PM): whatsaap?
solarpoweredspaz (11:13:14 PM): Nothingg
solarpoweredspaz (11:13:16 PM): Blogging.
solarpoweredspaz (11:13:21 PM): I smell onions.

"Live Every Day As If it Were Your Last"

So many people have those cheesy sayings somewhere on their myspace pages. Things like, "Live every day like it was your last", or something along the lines of it. Don't deny it, you know you have it somewhere, too.

Then you think about what you would do if you were on the last day of your life. I know what you'd do. It's what I'd do too. The same answer goes for that question in Vickie's blog, "What would you do if you had the entire world to yourself?"

I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd streak.

I'd spend all of my money on food. I'd write a will to my dog. I'd do something illegal and get arrested. I'd throw things, I'd make a scene in a public place. I'd die my hair blue, I'd get a tatoo.

And I'd be naked the entire time.

So before you quote that on your myspace, "Live every day like it were your last." think twice.
I'm sure the public would appreciate it if I don't.

Finally, Red Pants

I'm getting excited over all of my blog's readers?
Is it interesting? I hope you like my MB.

So one might question why I haven't been posting for the last few days. I was in Denver, Colorado.

And there was one peculiar thing that happened to me on my trip there. I went to this fancy aquarium/seafood restaurant. It was an aquarium, with exhibits full of exotic tropical fish. In the center, there was a seafood restaurant. Which served fish.
So I wondered aloud, maybe rudely, "Wouldn't that be horrible to be a fish in there? You'd have nothing to do all day but watch people eat other fish."


In sympathy for the fish, I ordered a hamburger.


I stopped by urban outfitters, Tiffanzy's sanctuary, to buy red pants.

MYMYubl0wmyMiND (9:12:32 PM): please dont wear them
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (9:12:32 PM): ;D
solarpoweredspaz (9:12:53 PM): I will, and you'll get used to them.
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (9:12:35 PM): i wont talk to you if you do
MYMYubl0wmyMiND (9:13:34 PM): IM NOT TALKING TO YOU WHEN YOU DO

Mymy and Cat will hate them, for sure. I don't care, I'm wearing them.



Also, I've decided to start printing the crap that I draw onto T-shirts.
If people like them, I'll start mass-producing. If not, I'll just wear them.
I'm down, ether way.



I've discovered a genius.
www.banksy.co.uk