Dear Aggressive Teenager:

50 posts.
I heavily rely on this blog in my social life. I can't think quickly, each quality post that I make takes at least an hour to make. In truth, I'm a slow guy; if one were to try to engage in intellectual conversation with me in person, I wouldn't follow. As you might guess, this could lead to some destructive st-st-stuttering and shallow phrases that protrude from my mouth. (Like how I make this graphic?)

Dear aggressive teenager,
Music is not your life, kiddo. Yeah, you listen to music. Maybe you listen to some great sounding music, maybe you know a dozen songs by heart. Who doesn't?
Surely none of us children deserve the right to that phrase.
Everyone thinks they know what the best kind of music is, that's why there's different kinds of music. Yeah? Which is why everyone is wrong. Yeah?
Another thing that bugs me is when people reply, "I listen to everything." Literally, everything?
"Yeah, I enjoy sipping tea to regional mexican remixes of Animal Collective."
Oh, well. Some people listen to everything. They must, or how would we have iTunes?


I ripped out of a survey from Chlorine Queen's blog. Now we can truly discover ourselves! *Myspace-whore face*
Which rhymes.

I enjoy how most surveys just dig at your sex life. They start with some innocent questions, then they suddenly bash you with, "When was the last time you had a boner?" Usually the readers will scan for these kinds of questions. They don't want to know what your cat did after you ate a sandwich.
ex.)

How are you feeling at this exact moment in time?
Inquisitive. I'm innocent.

Any weekend plans?
No. I'm innocent.

Will you be in bed within twenty minutes?
Yeah. I'm innocent.

You go past a locker and see your boyfriend cheating on you, what’s the first reaction?
Change my vote on Prop. 8
(I'm innocent.)

Who are your last four texts from?
"Get a free texting plan, NOW!"
I'm innocent.

When is your birthday?
December 3rd. I'm innocent.

Are you imagining anyone naked right now?
SEX! :D
YES. SEX. YES. LOOK AT THIS QUESTIONSEX!
I'm innocent.